Penis slashed off!

If your wife leaves you, it's okay to get a little drunk to drown your sorrows, but guzzling more than a bottle of vodka probably isn't in your best interest. This little tip, comes to you from Zakopane, Poland, where a man cut off his own genitals in a drunken fit of rage after his wife left him.

Tadeus Konopizc, 40, slashed off his penis and testicles with a six-inch kitchen knife after downing more than a bottle of vodka. He managed to call doctors to tell them what he had done and they sent a special helicopter rescue team to fly him to the northern town of Bialystok where surgeons specialize in sewing back severed organs.

But heavy fog on the way delayed the helicopter and by the time they reached the hospital doctors said it was too late to reattach the man's private parts. He is now expected to undergo months of surgery as doctors attempt to re-build his penis using skin from elsewhere on his body.

-- This has been a really bad week for male genitals. First, there was that matador who got gored in the testicles by a bull, and now this guy in Poland makes himself a eunuch. What the heck's going on here? We all get dumped at one time or another, but that's no reason to do what Mr. Konopizc did. Just because your significant other leaves you it does not mean the end of your sex life. In fact, for many, it means the beginning of a whole new and sometime better sex life. So, the next time you get dumped, don't reach for the vodka bottle or a sharp instrument. Dig out that little "black book" of yours and starting making some calls. Remember, if you take good care of your "equipment", it will take good care of you.