Penis Prank

When you get a tattoo, always make sure the tattoo artist has mirrors so you can watch what he is doing, otherwise, this could happen to you. A young soccer fan in Argentina is suing a tattooist who drew a penis on his back instead of his favorite team's logo.

The teenager, who wasn't named because he is a minor, asked to have the Boca Juniors logo on his back. The tattoo artist, however, was a supporter of rival team River Plate and decided to have some fun at his young customer's expense. The teenager told the Terra Argentina news agency: "I could not see what he was tattooing because he didn't have a mirror. I only saw it when I got home and showed it to my parents." "The tattooist supports Boca Junior's rival, River Plate, so he got annoyed when the teenager asked him to tattoo Boca's symbol and decided to tattoo a penis instead. Unbelievable!" said a police spokesperson.

-- Hehehe! Can't you just see it now? The young man goes rushing home to proudly show his parents his team's logo tattooed on his back: "Hey, mom, dad, check this out!" Dad yells, "What the hell?" but manages to catch mom, who has fainted, before she hits the floor. The young lad is totally bewildered by their reaction until dad puts him in front a mirror and shows him that he has a giant penis on his back. Hehehe! So, the big questions are: How long will we have to wait to see this scene played out on a t.v. sitcom or court room drama and which sitcom or court room drama will it be? Hehehe!

censorship. uncensored

Coming off the success of his controversial, Oscar-nominated film Twist of Faith, Kirby Dick presents a bold new documentary targeting a sacred cow of the film industry. Details are closely guarded, but this film is likely to generate an uproar upon its premiere. more info here

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Naked Mayor

The deputy mayor and councillor for economy on the city council in Lepe, Spain -- 35-year-old, Maria Dolores Jimenez -- is one of the entrants in this year's Miss Lepe competition, and has appeared nude the Lepe Urbana magazine that is sponsoring the event. Although Ms. Jimenez declined to talk to the press, her political opponents were more forthcoming -- and, in stark contrast to what would probably happen in some countries, they were surprisingly supportive.

The general secretary of the local PSOE party, Maria Bella Martin, congratulated her for "some fantastic photos, and she looks perfect," while Maria Luisa di Prisco said that "it is an initiative that should be applauded, and if she wants to do it, I think's it's fantastic because she's gorgeous!"

Miss Jimenez, a member of the PP party, appears naked on a beach on the front cover of the magazine while inside, next to a profile, she is shown sitting naked in a field surrounded by books. The profile describes her as a 35 year old agronomic engineer from Cordoba. She loves running, and one day she will start and never stop; she also likes reading and talking about what she has read, and travelling, Arabic culture and dreaming of living in Africa, which is something that is key to her happiness, according to contest officials.

-- She is also a hottie, but what struck me most about this article, aside from the photos of Ms. Jimenez, hehehe!, was the sensible and supportive reaction of women in political parties opposed to the party of Ms. Jimenez. Just about anywhere else on the planet there would be caterwauling and condemnation, but not in the city of Lepe, Spain.

Caught in Action Part III

Father John

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.
"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved." "Saved? And how did that come about?" asked the old nun. "Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."
"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fits my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock." "Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.

"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved." "That wicked old bastard," exclaimed the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn and I've been blowing it for 40 years."

Statue To Honor Sex Workers

Sex workers seldom get credit for the work they do, or their contributions to the local and national economies where they ply their trade. That, however, is soon about to change ... well, in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, anyway. Amsterdam's red-light district will soon be host to a new attraction: a statue to honor sex workers around the world.

The statue, designed by artist Els Rijerse, is scheduled be unveiled near the end of March, according to Dutch news agency ANP. "In many countries, prostitutes struggle and people have no respect for them whatsoever. The statue is meant to give all those men and women strength," said Mariska Majoor, a former sex worker who commissioned the statue. The statue, made of bronze, shows a woman who confidently looks out into the world.

-- YES!! It's way past time that someone did something like this for the sex workers of the world. In fact, every major city should do something similar to this to honor the good work and positive service that sex workers all over the planet provide to make others feel ...er ... better, hehehe! Congratulations to Ms. Mariska Majoor for having the making this much-needed tribute possible.

Caught in Action Part II

Short Tempered Doc

Justice prevailed in a Romanian court, after a doctor lost his temper and cut off a patient's penis. According to various news media reports, the 36-year-old Romanian man had gone into Bucharest hospital to have corrective surgery on one of his testicles. During the operation, surgeon Naum Ciomu lost his temper, picked up a scalpel and hacked off the man's penis. The stunned nursing staff then watched Ciomu place the penis on the operating table and proceed to chop it into small pieces then storm out of the operating room. Afterwards, Ciomu claimed he had been under stress and lost his temper after he accidentally cut the man's urinary channel and "overreacted".

Ciomu has since had his medical license suspended and a Romanian court has ordered him to pay $290,000 in damages to the man with the ... actually, without the mutilated member. The court also ordered the hospital to pay the $60,000 costs to the man to cover expenses for the operation to rebuild his penis using tissue from his arm.

-- YIKES! This poor guy has gone through the worst nightmare a man can have. Good for the court for revoking he doc's license, and for ordering the ex-doc to pay damages AND for ordering the hospital to pay the patient to have a new penis built for him. One bit of advice to the patient: Dude, whatever you do, get your new penis at a diffeent hospital. In case you're wondering, the second-worst nightmare a man can have is when his mistress calls saying, "Tell your wife I'm pregnant". Hehehe!

Being Irish

A bloke goes in shop and asks for "Irish Sausages".
The assistant looked at him and asked, "Are you Irish?"
"If I asked you for Italian Sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?" demanded the Irishman.
"If I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
"If I asked you for a Kosher Hot Dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?
"Or, if I asked you for a Taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican?
"Would ya, ay? Would Ya?" demanded the Irishman.
"Well, no," says the assistant.
"And if I asked you for some Bourbon Whiskey, would you ask me if I was American?" asked the Irishman.
"What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"
"Well, I probably wouldn't," the assistant replies.
With self-indignation, the man says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish Sausages?"
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....(Wait for it.)
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"Because you're in a hardware store," replies the assistant.

caught in action part I